I am a stay at home wife of 7 years with zero children which is sad to say. After high school instead of the freshman 15 weight gain I began to develop health problems that causes pregnancy nearly impossible. Every woman knows the challenges of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and Endometriosis. Having already gone through a D and C, I have basically put getting pregnant on my list of impossible feats. I have looked into adoption and foster care but the cost is crazy. So we have decided that being animal parents is good enough for now. Since I do stay at home, I begin to feel a sense of isolation. After graduation I lost contact with most of my friends. Since I am mostly an invert, creating new relationships feels impossible. The I had were established over years, and starting over is nerve racking.
My husband is in construction and travels for work. He can be gone anywhere from a couple days to weeks at a time. I use to travel with him, but traveling with 1 dog is hard, but imagine traveling with 2 large dogs and a small kitten. I have tried and the task is nearly impossible. So as of now my thoughts are shared through social media platforms and diaries.
I do have many dreams for the future. For people who have never met me you would think I am a home body. Just going into my yard is not something I am fond of though. Canoeing, camping, anything along those lines is my cup of tea. Traveling for weeks along a river or in the mountains. I even have a goal of sailing for months or cycling across the united states. I have big dreams and a small budget. But a small budget is not my only hurdle I have also been diagnosed as Epileptic.
I was diagnosed when I was 9. I have been on one medication for 20 years. Up until a year ago I would have seizures on a regular basis. I still have the petit-mal seizures on the daily, but I haven't had a large seizure in over a year. I am completely dependent on medication. Over the passed 20 years I have been told Epilepsy is not a genetic disorder, all I have to say is I have a hard time believing that. So on my maternal side Epilepsy is a common occurrence. I have even had family die from Epilepsy.
I not only have Epilepsy, I also have insomnia, anxiety, and depression. During a conversation with a friend she said "I just don't see how you put up with all that drama". I said well obviously not well because I am on medication for that too. I sleep during the day most of the time because I find it really hard to sleep at night. With all of our animals sharing the bed with us sleeping is impossible. So I am awake most of the night which drives my husband insane.
I have an idea for my first mini series. A lot of tragedy has happened in the past year and documenting that would be nice. I believe I may begin that tonight actually. I hope this post wasn't too long or boring. Thank you for reading!
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